Only True Feelings
by siriusuk
Summary: Ch.3 UP!Ron has broken up with Hermione after only 3 months and now she is having feelings for Remus that she cannot handle alone, but what she doesn't know is that Remus feels the same for her! HGRL fic!
1. Over

**Only True Feelings**

_Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling, although the plot is my own creation._

**Chapter One - Over**

It was late as Hermione sat on her bed flipping through the pages in her diary. As she came across her last entry, she laid back more forcefully than she meant to and began to read.

_January 18_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today is mine and Ron's 3-month anniversary! I'm so happy, but he has been acting really strange around me lately. Kind of, I don't know…distant, I mean he didn't seem too excited today at all. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I have this weird feeling that something is going on. I mean, I feel like he's hiding something from me and I think I might know what it is, but I don't want to say anything because I don't want to jinx it._

_But to look on the bright side he did get me something, well sort-of. What I mean is that we were together and we went to Hogsmeade and I saw some chocolate at Honeyduke's that I wanted and so he bought it for me and then he said very dully, 'Happy Anniversary'. But at least he got me something and he remembered it was our anniversary! Right?._

_Well, anyways that was pretty much my day, it could have been better, it could have been worse._

She cursed under her breath. _Yea right, who was I trying to kid._ she thought.

She flipped through the rest of her diary and all the other pages were completely blank, waiting to be filled with happy, beautiful, friendly memories. Memories that she knew would last her a lifetime, memories that she would want to look back on and read about and smile.

She sighed loudly and she heard Susan move around in her bed, but she didn't really care. She had so much on her mind, and all she could think about was how shitty her day had turned out. Well, the beginning of her day was horrible, but in the end it wasn't as bad as it had been.

She took a long, slow deep breath, closed her eyes and began to replay her day in her mind, remembering every little grim detail of it.

_(That morning)_

As Hermione awoke, she sat up in her bed, stretched and yawned loudly. She slipped into some comfortable clothes and headed downstairs to the common room, where she found Harry sitting at the table in the corner, working furiously on the giant pile of homework that was stacked up next to him.

"Hi Harry." Hermione said as she walked over towards him.

"Hey," Harry said distractedly.

"Wow," she said trying to peer over the large pile of books at Harry.

She sat there for several minutes watching Harry's quill fly back and forth across the page in a daze. It wasn't until the scratching noises made from his quill stopped, that she noticed that he was watching her closely.

"What…" she asked slightly surprised.

"Nothing, just thinking." he answered.

"Oh, okay." she said slowly, "Hey, have you seen Ron lately? I need to talk to him."

"Yea, he went out earlier." he said.

"Went out where?" she asked curiously.

"Uhhh…he went out…um…walking." Harry said, not looking at her.

"Okay," she said even more slowly, looking at him awkwardly.

_What is going on around here?_ she thought.

"Well in that case, is it alright if I use the Marauders Map so I can find him easier?" she asked simply.

"Uhh…sure." he said still not looking at her.

"Thanks," she said as she dashed up the staircase and into the boys dormitory.

She opened Harry's trunk, and after a couple minutes of searching she found it stuffed in the bottom. She reached in, grabbed it and was out the door and running down the stairs back into the common room. As she ran by Harry, she heard him call her name. She turned back around and looked over at him.

"Yea," she asked as she walked back over to the table.

"Listen Hermione, before you go out looking for Ron, there's something I need to tell you about him." he said.

"What is it Harry?" she urged him.

"Well, when I tell you this, I don't want you to freak out or anything because it's kind of…well…you know…" he stammered.

"Harry, what's going on?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"Well Ron,…he…he was planning on…" he started but was cut off by someone entering the common room.

As Ron walked in, Harry directed his eyes back down to his homework and mumbled, "Nevermind,"

"Ronald!" Hermione squealed before she ran over to him and _tried_ to kiss him lightly on his lips.

He stopped her as she reached up to kiss him.

"Wha- what's wrong?" she asked him, worried.

"Listen Hermione, we need to talk."

"Alright," she said as she made to sit down.

"Not here,…" he said casting a quick glance over at Harry, who looked up when he heard Ron say this. As Harry glared at him, Ron grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her towards the door. "…somewhere more private."

"Okay, see ya Harry." she said, waving to him.

Harry stood up and opened his mouth as if to say something, but stopped himself and sat back down.

Ron led Hermione through several different corridors and into a randomly open classroom.

"Ron, what are you doing?" she asked, giggling slightly as Ron closed the door behind them.

She walked around the classroom looking at everything, she stopped in the middle of the room. As Ron made his way over to her, she smiled, reached out to him and began to kiss him.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her off of him. "Hermione-Hermione, stop. We need to talk. Seriously," he said with a very strong voice that made her abandon her attempts to kiss him and look at him with concern.

"What's wrong?"

He looked her in the eyes and then looked at the ground. He couldn't stand to have those dark, honey-brown eyes staring at him, not with what he was about to tell her.

"Umm…I-I can't…" he started, but couldn't finish.

"What is it silly?" she asked playfully, as she attempted to kiss him again.

"I can't do this anymore Hermione." he said forcefully, pushing her backwards.

She stumbled a bit but caught herself before she fell.

"What in the hell was that for?" she said, utterly perplexed. "And what do you mean, you can't do what anymore?"

"This, Hermione. I can't be with you anymore." he said turning his back on her.

"Wha-…why? What happened? Did I do something wrong?" she asked horrified.

"Nothing really happened, you just seem way to overprotective and I can't stand it. I can't do anything without you _needing_ to know where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's just plain annoying, I can't do it anymore, I just need some damn space Hermione." he said still not looking at her.

"What the hell does that mean…you need _space_…what kind of sad excuse is that?"

"I can't talk about this right now." he said.

"_You _can't talk about this. You know what, you want space? I'll give you plenty of space, trust me."

And with that said, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the classroom. All she could think to do was run, she wanted to get as far away from Ron as she could possibly get.

She finally stopped in the middle of a corridor, leaned her back against the wall and slowly slid down the wall crying. She had so many thoughts flying through her head all at once.

_Why would he do that to me…WHY? What did I do to him that made me deserve something like this? Why god, WHY? _her head was screaming.

She sat there in a ball crying for what seemed like hours, when she heard the door right in front of her open. She jumped, jerked her head up and immediately stopped crying when she saw who it was.

Professor Lupin stuck his head out his doorway looking around for the source of the noise and soon located it, he looked down at Hermione and walked out of his classroom..

"Hermione, are you alright?" he asked slowly.

"Umm…yes, I-I just…uh," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes while trying to stand up.

"Here, let me help you." he said, rushing over to her and grabbing her hand to help her up.

As soon as his hand touched hers, it sent warm shivers down her spine and she began shaking, Remus too had noticed this.

"Are you sure you're okay, you're shaking." he said, looking her in the eyes.

"Yea, I'm fine." she said trying to calm herself.

"I don't think that you are telling me the truth Hermione." he said smiling at her.

Her stomach started to squirm as she looked up into his eyes.

_What is going on with me?_ she wondered.

"Well…" she started.

"Listen, why don't you come into my classroom and you can tell me about your morning." he suggested.

"Well, alright. As long as you're not too busy." she said.

"I would never be too busy for you." he said and she smiled, blushing slightly.

She followed Remus into his classroom and looked around, she could definitely tell that he was in the middle of grading. There were piles of papers all over the place and they were scattered all over his desk.

"Sorry, I wasn't really expecting company," he said moving several large piles of graded papers to make room for them to sit down comfortably.

"It's quite alright," she said looking around.

"There you go," he said turning towards her and smiling.

"Thanks," she said sitting down trying to ignore the nervousness she was feeling.

"So, where were we?" he said jokingly.

"I think I was just about to tell you what a jerk Ron is." she said without thinking.

"Why? What happened?" he asked with concern.

"Oh, nothing." she mumbled.

"Hermione please, I would much rather you tell me yourself than having to find out some other way." he said smiling at her good-naturedly.

She sat there thinking about it for a while, she wasn't sure if she should tell him or not, but she knew that sooner or later he would find out. And she would much rather tell him first-hand rather than him finding out from someone else and it being completely screwed up.

_Just tell him,_ she thought, _Remus-I mean Professor Lupin won't judge me. He's too nice and considerate…and intelligent, and sweet, and good looking with his hair falling lightly over his eyebrows…STOP!_ she thought suddenly.

_This is your professor, your teacher, Hermione. You know better._

"Soo…" he said, smiling at her.

"Well, it's rather silly actually, but…Ron decided to break up with me this morning," she said rather lamely. "He said he needed _'space'_, which is a complete lie and I know it."

"A lie? What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"I mean that I know that wasn't his _real_ reason." she said a bit more forcefully than she meant to. "I'm sorry, it just really frustrates me that he's not able to be truthful. I'd much rather him tell me the truth than make up some stupid excuse."

The both of them sat there in a rather uncomfortable silence.

"Maybe I brought this upon myself somehow, perhaps I must have done something wrong." she said looking up at Remus hopefully.

"Now don't think like that Hermione, of course you did nothing wrong." Remus said honestly. "I've seen you two together, and from what I could tell you were nothing but sweet and caring and lovely-I mean loving."

_Damn!_ he cursed himself.

Hermione looked at the ground blushing slightly. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"There's no need for thanks Hermione, it's true. He probably just wasn't ready for a relationship yet." he added sweetly.

_Although I know that I am past due for one._ he thought bitterly

"I don't know, I just wish that I could find a guy out there that was sweet, honest and caring."

"I'm sure that there is someone out there for you Hermione." _Like me perhaps_ "I mean, you're a sweet, caring and beautiful young woman." _Stop it Remus_

Hermione sat there stunned for several seconds._ He thinks I'm a beautiful young woman, not a child but a woman_. She felt a warm heat rising in her cheeks and she was praying that Remus wouldn't notice her blushing.

"Listen Remus," she said placing her hand on his. " I really appreciate you taking time out of your _busy_…" she said gesturing around to the many piles of papers smiling, "…morning to talk with me. It truly has made my morning much better than it was."

As soon as her hand made contact with his, he started shaking slightly. He felt the blood start to creep up into his cheeks. _What is wrong with you Remus?_ he asked himself. _she is one of your students._ he tried to calm his nerves as best as he could.

"Of course Hermione, and listen if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, just know that I'm always available." Remus said, hoping to comfort her more.

Hermione stood up and made to leave, but stopped and turned to face Remus instead.

"Thank you so much Remus-I mean Professor." she said quickly, looking at the ground.

"Hey," he said as she quickly looked into his pale blue eyes, "no need for formalities Hermione, you can call me Remus."

"Alright,…well thank you Remus." she said.

Then she reached up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, before she fled from his classroom.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Remus slouched down into his seat and heaved a huge sigh. He sat forward and placed his head in his hands and began massaging his temples.

_What is going on with you Remus, you're acting so childish. You're a grown man now, you should be able to control your nerves especially around women._

Although his head was throbbing and his body was still shaking slightly, he couldn't help but smile as he ran his fingers across the area where Hermione had just placed her delicate kiss.

As Hermione left Remus' classroom, she realized that she was bouncing on her toes as she walked along the corridor. She felt somewhat light-headed, and was happier than she had felt in a while.

All she knew was that whatever had happened in there with Remus, she seemed to have had feelings come over her that she had never had with anyone…not even Ron.

AN: I hope you enjoyed this. Although it is not that much, there is still a lot more to come, trust me. Please read and review, and I'll update as soon as I can! Thanks!


	2. Reasons

**Only True Feelings**

_Disclaimer: I do not own_ _any of these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling, although they plot is my own creation._

AN: I would just like to thank my few reviewers (at least for now! j/k!) for the reviews they left for me:

Prey - the story will get even more interesting, and my writing will continue. (If I get reviews, of course!)

Igraine - I'm glad you like my story so far, and I'll continue if I get my reviews:)

frizz07 - I'm glad you are enjoying my story too, and thanks for the review!

Phoebe Holly - Thanks for the tip, and I hope you will like the rest of my story.

And last but certainly not least, CrabApplGlory - I appreciate your review lots, I have to agree that Remus and Hermione are my fav. pairing too. Thanks for the inspiration you have given me to continue my story. Thank you!

Thank you all so very much, I love you all and as long as you keep reviewing, I'll keep on writing, trust me:)

**Chapter Two - Reasons**

As Hermione walked into the common room, she was humming quietly to herself and she had a broad smile plastered across her face.

She came up next to Harry and plopped down on the chair next to him.

"Are you alright Hermione?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Yea, I'm fine. Absolutely wonderful," she said in a dream-like voice.

"Okay," he said slowly, "well where's Ron?"

"Who cares," she said blissfully. "Anyways, do you need help with any of your homework?"

"You mean you're not upset with Ron?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Well of course I'm upset with him Harry, if I didn't see him ever again it wouldn't bother me one bit. I mean I can't believe that...wait,..." she said slowly, " you mean that you knew about him breaking up with me?"

Harry averted his gaze slightly and then slowly began to shake his head.

"Why didn't you say anything," she said, starting to raise her voice.

"Listen, Hermione, I was just about to tell you this morning but then _he_ walked in and took you away. I'm sorry Hermione, I know that I should have said something earlier, but I thought that he would change his mind and break it off with Parvati and stay with you."

"WHAT?" Hermione yelled, catching Harry off guard and causing him to stare at her with shock.

"What do you mean, what?" he asked her.

"I MEAN THAT HE IS A GOD DAMN LIAR! HE TOLD ME THAT HE NEEDED '_SPACE_'!" she screamed.

"Space?" Harry asked in disbelief. "He told me that he was going to tell you the truth, and I warned him and told him that there would be consequences if he lied to you!"

"Are you positive that he didn't mention anything whatsoever about having another relationship." he asked.

Hermione racked her brains, "I'm positive, all he told me was that he needed some space. He said that I was too overprotective and he couldn't stand it anymore."

Harry stood up abruptly, grabbed the Marauders Map map from the table, and headed towards the door.

"Harry? Where are you going?" Hermione asked.

"I think it's time for me to take a break from my homework," he said bluntly, and was out the door.

Hermione got up and trotted over to the armchair by the fireplace. _Why did Ron have to do all of this?_ she thought bitterly.

Then thoughts of Remus flooded her mind. She began to smile lightly as she thought of the conversation they had, and of course the kiss that she had given him. She remembered the electricity that she felt pass from her body to his as her lips made contact with his cheek. She licked her lips slightly, and then smiled.

_Stop it Hermione, he's your professor. He's older and wiser and probably has his eyes on some older woman._

But as soon as those thoughts crossed her mind, she pushed them right away remembering the way he looked at her when they were alone. Never before had she seen him look at her that way before during lessons, or _any_ other time that she could think of. Never has she seen that small sparkle in his eye that looked as if lightening was flashing across his eyes. Never had she seen him smile as her like that, or have butterflies in her stomach, or even blush.

She could sit there all day long just thinking about him, but she was interrupted by Ginny coming into the common room, with a frightened look on her face.

Hermione jumped out of her seat and ran over to Ginny.

"What's wrong Ginny?"

"Hermione, I-I don't know what's happened or what's going on with Harry-but...he...he was...attacking..." she said frantically.

"He was attacking who? Ginny, who was Harry attacking?" Hermione asked as calmly as she could.

"Ron! Harry just walked right up to Ron and started jinxing him." Ginny said almost in tears.

"Show me where they are." Hermione said shortly.

They ran through several different corridors, and Hermione was beginning to think that something bad had happened until she heard loud noises.

As she turned the corner she saw a large group of people encircling two other people. One of which was lying on the ground and the other was on top hitting and yelling.

Hermione ran through the crowd shoving people out of the way, ignoring their sounds of protest. When she finally broke through the crowd, she saw that it was Ron lying on the ground sporting a bloody nose and a swollen eye, and Harry was the one on top of him punching every inch of Ron that he could. He was yelling something that no one would have been able to distinguish.

Hermione ran over and grabbed Harry and tried to pull him off, but wasn't having any luck.

Then out of nowhere she heard someone ask what was going on, it was a male voice that was deep and hoarse. Hermione spun around to see Remus Lupin standing directly behind her, he looked too as if he ran the whole way here.

She ran over to him and grabbed his arm, as electricity shot up her arm and through her body. "It's Ron and Harry, I don't know what has gotten into them." she said distractedly.

As soon as she grabbed his arm, his heart skipped a couple of beats and he looked into her honey-brown eyes and smiled at her lightly before he jumped forward and began pulling Harry off of Ron.

By the time Harry had finally stopped trying to put Ron in the hospital wing, his hands and feet were bound by a spell that Remus had to use.

Remus then turned to everyone else, "Okay, the excitement is over, you all can leave now. Go on."

Very reluctantly and slowly everyone began to leave, everyone except Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny.

He took the spells off of Harry and handed Ron a handkerchief for his nose.

"Now let's all go to my room and see what all this was about before we decide to do anything else."

Hermione had to hand it to him, he knew how to handle things a lot better than other people, and of course the first person that popped into her head was Snape.

The five of them made their way to Remus' classroom. As soon as they got there Remus sat behind his desk, Ron and Ginny sat in the front desks, Harry sat as far away from Ron as he could and Hermione followed suit.

After they all got settled, Remus was the first to break the silence.

"Can anyone of you tell me what happened out there?" he asked the four of them.

They all sat there in silence. No one wanted to say anything, so Hermione decided to give her account of what happened.

"Well when I got back to the common room earlier, Harry was sitting there doing his homework and I asked if he needed any help. Then he asked me why I wasn't upset about Ron breaking up with me, and I told him that I was fine with it." she began, and across the room she heard a small, "Oh!" and saw Ginny as realization came across her face before she shot a piercing glare at her brother.

"Anyways, then Harry was apologizing to me for not telling me before now and that he thought that Ron was going to break it off with Parvati and stay with me, and of course Ron didn't say anything about him seeing another girl so I told Harry that Ron said that he needed 'space'. Then the next thing I knew Harry was on his way out the door and I didn't stop him because I had no idea what he was planning on doing. Then a couple of minutes later Ginny ran into the common room and told me what was going on, so she then showed me where they were, I was trying to get Harry off of Ron and that's when you showed up." she said smiling at Remus, as he returned the smile.

"Harry, why would you do this to Ron? You two have been friends for as long as I can remember." Remus said directing his gaze over to Harry.

"Yea, we _were_ good friends..." Harry started as he glanced at Ron with a look of disgust on his face.

"What do you mean, 'you _were _good friends'?"

"I mean that I'm not going to stay friends with someone who can't be truthful, especially when it has to deal with my other friends." he said turning his gaze over to Ron, and for the first time he had a tangled expression on his face that was a mix between anger, pity and frustration.

"Why did you lie to her,...why couldn't you just tell her the truth? You promised me you would, and now I feel as if I can't trust you anymore." he said with a hurt expression.

"I-I don't know...I couldn't tell her that I was seeing someone else, it was just too hard." Ron said, studdering slighty.

"So you'd rather lie to her than be a man and tell her the truth?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"No," Ron said simply.

"Then why, why did you do it?"

"I-I don't know, alright. I don't know why I didn't tell her the truth. I know it's wrong to lie, but when she was standing there looking up at me with those eyes, I couldn't bring myself to say that I was seeing someone else. It was hard enough just telling her it was over!"

The room went extremely quite for several minutes.

"Listen Ron, hearing you put it that way I could understand why you did what you did. Although I don't really agree with you lying to me,..." she said distractedly, "I still understand. And I just thought that I'd let you know that I do forgive you."

Hermione saw relief spread across him face at the sound of her words, and all he could manage was, "Thanks Hermione, really."

"Good," Remus said, "Now Harry, do you think that you and Ron could possibly be friends again?"

Ron glanced up at Harry, as Harry did the same to him. When they made eye contact, Harry shrugged slightly, "Yea, I'm sure we could work everything out."

"Great," Remus said standing up smiling widely. "Now that everything is back to normal, I think that you all can leave."

"You mean, you're not going to send us to McGonagall, or give us detention?" Harry and Ron asked.

"Well no, I see no point in punishing you now that you two have things worked out. Do you?" he said smiling slightly.

"No," they said together.

"Alright then, you guys have a good day."

"Okay, thanks Professor, see you later." they all said heading towards the door.

Remus stood there for several seconds debating whether or not he should, but his mind decided for him, and before he could stop himself, "Hermione, could I have a word please." _Damn it Remus, WHY?_ he asked himself.

Hermione stopped abruptly, said goodbye to the others and turned around slowly shaking slightly.

"Yes Professor?" she said trying not to sound nervous.

"Hermione I told you, call me Remus." he said smiling sweetly.

"Sorry Remus."

"No need to apologize Hermione, really. I just wanted to tell you how considerate is was of you to settle that whole situation the way do did."

"Well thank you Remus. I just didn't want Harry and Ron's friendship ruined just because Ron and I were no longer dating. I just didn't think it was right."

"And you thought right once again Hermione." _Like always! God, why does she have to be so sensitive, smart and beautiful?_ he thought bitterly.

Hermione was walking up towards his desk and his sensitive nose could smell her discrete scent, it was enough to drive someone mad.

_Since when did she look so grown up?_ but as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he pushed it away. _She probably has some young hunk that she has a crush on, she could definitely get pretty much any guy that she wanted!_

But then out of nowhere he sensed it, he knew it well enough, it was...arousal. His head jerked up and he made eye contact with Hermione, and at that exact second he understood what Ron meant when he said that he couldn't bear looking her in the eyes and tell her he was seeing someone else.

Remus knew he never wanted those eyes filled with hurt, ever, it would shatter his heart. Those beautiful, luscious honey-brown eyes, he could look at them for the rest of his life.

Hermione was now making her way around his desk and his heart began racing. He had so many thoughts flying through his head. _She is one of your students Remus, you are her mentor, her teacher. You're not supposed to think of your students like this._

But as she got closer with each step, other thoughts began to run through his head. _She is old enough to decide who she wants to be with, and she is a beautiful young woman. And if people really have true feelings for each other, then nothing else should matter. Right?_

She was right in front of him and his breath was becoming short and ragged. Just as she started leaning forward, Remus quickly stood up.

"Hermione, I don't think that this is the appropriate thing for us to be doing."

Hermione stopped and looked at the ground blushing slightly, for some weird reason she felt as if he had feelings for her too. Obviously she was wrong.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

She turned away from him and began to walk towards the door, but as she reached out for the handle she turned around and looked Remus in the eyes.

"I'm truly sorry for putting you in such an awkward position Remus, please forgive me."

With that she opened the door and walked out, leaving Remus standing there feeling even more empty than he had felt before.

AN: I know this chapter is a bit shorter, but there still is a lot more to come! Please keep reading and reviewing, and I'll keep updating. Thanks!


	3. Realization

Only True Feelings

_Disclaimer: I do not own_ _any of these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling, although the plot is my own creation._

AN: I would like thank all my reviewers! Much love to all of you! And I am very, very sorry for the long wait! I have been extremely busy with school and everything has been hectic. I've been testing for about two weeks now, so I apologize to you all! I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Three – Realization**

As Hermione first awoke the next morning she was unsure of why she felt so horrible until, uncontrollably, the thoughts of yesterday flooded back into her mind. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed for acting the way she did in front of Remus.

_I can't believe I did that, I'm such an idiot. I mean, he is a grown man and I was being so juvenile I can't believe that I thought that he actually liked me. Get ahold of yourself Hermione, he's your teacher, why would he like you? You're like a daughter to him!_

As she thought those words, they stung her mind like a swarm of angry bees. She had been having a hard time with all the conflicting thoughts running through her head just in the past 12 hours. It was enough to drive someone insane.

She walked into the bathroom, turned on the sink, cupped a large amount of water in her hands and splashed in on her face. It was cold enough to wake someone up from a dead sleep.

She grabbed a small towel and dried her face, then she straightened herself up a bit and looked into the mirror at her reflection.

In her own opinion, she thought she looked like shit. She had small circles under her eyes from a pretty sleepless night, her hair was falling in tangled curls around her somewhat pale face. For some reason all the muscles in her body felt like the had been stretched across a large field and then put back in place. She felt just plain exhausted, she didn't feel very good and her body was aching.

She slouched back into the dormitory and changed into her school robes and reluctantly walked downstairs to the common room.

Harry, Ginny, Ron and Seamus were all sitting around a table in the corner of the common room discussing, of course, Quidditch.

As Hermione dragged herself over to the table, Ginny was the first to look up at her.

"Are you alright Hermione? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

As she said this, the other three faces turned to look at her. She shook her head yes slightly as she made to sit down.

"Are you sure 'Mione? You don't look too well." Harry said, and got several head shakes in agreement.

"I'm fine alright, just drop it." she said in a monotone voice.

Everyone thought that was enough reason and turned their heads back towards their earlier conversation. All except Harry, who continued to gaze at Hermione suspiciously.

Hermione felt Harry's gaze on her and as she saw him start to open his mouth to say something, she cut him off and asked who was hungry.

Of course everyone was, so they all headed to the Great Hall for breakfast. On the way there Harry pulled Hermione behind all the others and asked her what was bothering her.

"Nothing Harry, really. I just didn't get as much sleep last night that I needed, honestly." she said staring at him intently.

Harry stared at her for several minutes and then finally decided that she was being truthful with him.

"Alright, but if anything is ever bothering you, you know that I'm always here for you."

"Of course Harry. I've known that for the past 6 years." she said, smiling at him lightly.

As they entered the Great Hall Hermione had begun to feel much better than she had felt earlier. Well, that was at least until she saw Remus sitting up at the teacher's table. She frowned slightly and turned her attention back to her plate of food, finding it much harder to eat now.

She managed to eat a few small bites, until out of nowhere, Harry heard a fork clatter. He turned to find Hermione sitting in front of him, with a look of shock on her face.

"What is it Hermione?" Harry said quickly.

Harry's words seemed to bring her back to reality.

"Oh nothing, just gave myself a bit of a scare. I thought today was the Transfiguration test, and I hadn't really studied yet. Then I realized that we don't even have Transfiguration today" she said shrilly.

As Harry turned to continue his conversation with Lee, Hermione looked down at her plate. She knew for a fact that there was no Transfiguration test today, she just used that as an excuse. Actually, she had just realized that she had DADA with the Slytherins today. That would mean that she would have to be around Remus.

_No,_ she thought, _I just won't go and I tell Ron and Harry that I'm not feeling good._

As she thought that, she shook her head slightly. _That was absurd, there was no way in hell that she was going to skip a lesson just because she felt embarrassed to be around him._

_I just won't talk to him._ she concluded, as she, Ron and Harry stood up to go to their first class; which coincidentally, was DADA.

As Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way into the classroom, Hermione made to sit towards the back of the class, she wanted to sit as far away from Remus as she could.

"Hermione what are you doing?" Ron asked.

"Oh! I hadn't realized what I was doing." she said.

"Well come on then, the lesson's about to start." Harry said.

So they went and sat in the front row like they usually did and got their stuff out for the lesson.

Hermione sat there for several moments with butterflies in her stomach, until she finally heard him enter the classroom. She froze, her body shaking slightly. Remus went straight up to the front of the room and began his lesson like he did everyday.

Hermione was extremely relieved at this, at how he didn't seem change at all. She was able to shake off her nervousness quickly and return to her normal self. Seeing that hedidn'tseem distracted by the uncomfortable situation she put him in the night before was a good thing, at least to her.

Before the bell rang for class to be over she, Ron and Harry began packing up their things. Remus came over to their little group and greeted them all with a warm smile.

"Hey Professor." Ron and Harry said together. Hermione smiled at him reluctantly, and got a smile back from him which sent warm shivers through her body. He may not have feelings for her, but that didn't mean that she had to ignore the feelings she had for him.

"I was just wondering whether you three were planning on going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" Remus asked.

"Yea. Why, were you actually wanting to leave the school and go with us." Harry said jokingly.

"Actually yes, I thought that I deserved a bit of a break myself." he said.

"Well of course you do," Hermione said rather quickly, and as Remus turned to look at her, she looked at the ground blushing slightly and mumbled, "we all do."

As Remus turned to walk back towards his desk, Hermione wanted to say something, anything to him. But a second later she heard the bell ring, and feeling as though she were defeated, she hung her head and started walking towards the door with Harry and Ron in front of her. Then she heard it, it was his voice calling her name. She stopped and spun around to find him staring at her intently. As she was walking towards his desk she realized that they were the only two left in the room.

She stopped in front of his desk, standing there nervously, fiddling with her fingers. She hadn't realized how quiet it was, so she cleared her throat to try and break the awkward silence.

"Listen Hermione the reason I asked you to stay after was because I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was uncalled for and I am sorry."

"Oh no, I was the one that was being inappropriate yesterday." Hermione said quickly, "I was being so juvenile, I don't know what was wrong with me. It was wrong of me to try to kiss you, you're my teacher and I'm your student."

"So,…" Remus blurted before he could stop himself.

Hermione looked at him quickly, desperation in her eyes.

_Dammit Remus, look what you've gone and done._ he thought.

"Do you really mean that Profes…I mean Remus?" she asked, her voice strained and timid.

As he looked into her eyes, his heart started to melt. He stood up, walked around his desk, and stopped right in front of Hermione.

"Of course I do," he said as he looked deep into her honey-brown eyes.

He took in her scent and felt the warmth passing between their bodies that were merely inches apart. He took a deep breath, calmed his nerves and pulled her to him. He brought his mouth down to meet hers and she squeaked slightly at his sudden actions, but soon turned her body over to its impulses.

As he brought his lips down to meet hers, he parted them against her mouth and began to trace his tongue along her bottom lip; it sent tingling sensations through her mouth, she felt as though her knees were going to give out. She placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, and began to deepen the kiss.

But just as she thought it would never end, it did; but more abruptly than she would have thought.

She looked up at Remus and saw the look on his face.

"What's wrong Remus?"

"I'm sorry Hermione, I shouldn't have done that." Remus said.

"What do you mean you shouldn't have done that? You said that it wasn't wrong for me to try and kiss you, that it didn't matter that I was your student and you were my teacher."

"Hermione I didn't say that."

"Well, you might as well have." Hermione said defiantly.

"But I didn't." Remus said, "Hermione listen, I apologize for doing this and leading you to believe that we could have something between each other. The only thing that we have is that of a teacher and a student."

As Remus was saying all of this, her eyes began to burn and she felt tears brimming over her eyes. She couldn't stand this any longer, she couldn't bear to hear any more excuses. First Ron and now Remus; she knew that she hadn't really had an actual relationship with Remus, but she had feelings for him that she hadn't ever had with anyone else and she knew that he had feelings for her too.

Hermione finally looked up into Remus' eyes and steadied her voice before she spoke. Remus looked deep into her eyes and saw the one thing that he had promised never to do to her. Her eyes were so full of passion, pain and hurt; he felt his stomach begin to squirm and his heart was twisting.

Hermione took a deep breath, cleared her throat and finally spoke.

"Of course, I appreciate everything _Professor_." she said sardonically.

She turned on her heel, marched straight over to the door pulled it open and slammed it behind her.

Remus felt as if his heart was wrenched from his chest and shredded into a million little pieces. How could he have been such a jerk to her, she had done nothing whatsoever to deserve this kind of treatment that she was receiving from him. He knew that she would never forgive him, especially after all of that.

As Hermione walked out of his classroom, she started to run; she didn't know where to, but all she knew was that she wanted to get the hell away from everything and everyone. She was so fed up with the way that everyone treats her, as if she weren't even a human being. But she was, she had feelings just like everyone else; but why-why did everyone treat her as if she didn't. She couldn't answer that, but all she knew was that she couldn't deal with it anymore, she was done.

She ran until she couldn't run anymore, and when she couldn't run she started to cry, she cried until she didn't have any tears left.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, she decided that she would go back to the girls' dormitory, and just go to sleep.

_Maybe I'll wake up to find that this was all just a nightmare, just a horrible nightmare_. she thought.

But as she crawled into bed, she didn't realize that she was going to have another restless night.

Hermione was sitting out by the lake when out of nowhere she heard distant bangs and loud voices. She turned and was shocked to find Remus and Harry dueling, but they weren't holding wands, they were holding rubber chickens.

Hermione ran over to them, stepped in between them and pushed them apart.

"What are you two doing?"

"Remus said that he was going to feed you to the giant squid." Harry said, "but I told him that he couldn't do that because I needed you to ride my pet dragon!"

"Well, I've told you already that I don't want to ride your dragon Harry; and Remus, why would my own boyfriend want to eat me?" Hermione said recklessly.

"I thought you were dating Dobby?" Ron said as he ran over and began to kiss Hermione.

Hermione shot up in her bed, covered in sweat. She sat there for several minutes trying to steady her breath, the sun had just come up and was pouring in through the window across the lightly dusted wooden floor.

_What in the hell kind of dream was that?_ she thought desperately.

She tried to shake the dream from her mind, stood up and walked into the girls bathroom to take a shower. Afterwards she got dressed in her school robes and headed downstairs to the common room; but she wasn't planning on staying, in fact she was going to just go and head down to breakfast that way she wouldn't have to put on a happy face for anyone.

When she entered the Great Hall there was barely anyone there and that was probably owing to the fact that it was so early. She sat down and within several seconds a small plate of eggs, bacon, sausage and toast, and a glass of pumpkin juice appeared right in front of her. She sat in silence for about an hour, enjoying being alone, until a little while later all of the other student's began showing up for breakfast. Soon after that Harry, Ron, Ginny, Seamus and Dean all showed up together, they all sat down around Hermione. Harry was the first to speak to her.

"Where were you this morning Hermione?" he asked.

"Yea, when I woke up I didn't even see you in the dormitory." Ginny said.

"Well, I didn't sleep very well and I woke up early and decided to go ahead and come down here and try to eat some breakfast." Hermione replied dryly.

"Oh," Ginny said quietly as she turned back to her breakfast.

They all sat there chatting for a little while. Ron, Harry and Seamus were, once again, arguing about Quidditch; Ginny and Hermione talked quietly about how immature guys could be. Until, out of nowhere, Hermione heard Ron say something that caught her attention.

"Hey, look there's Professor Lupin! _Hey Professor!_" Ron called.

"Ron, be quiet for god's sake." Hermione hissed.

And as though her luck was running short, she saw Remus stop, turn around, wave back and then began walking towards their table.

_Shit!_ Hermione thought frantically. _I can't see him,...I can't let him see me!_

Just as Remus made it to the table, Hermione jumped up and darted out of the Great Hall with her bookbag slung over her shoulder.

"What in the bloody hell was that all about?" Ron asked with a look of shock on his face.

But Remus knew full well what that was all about. It was something that he brought upon himself, and now he regretted it more than anything.

The day went by extremely slow, or at least in Remus' opinion it did. By the time his classes were over he was glad that he didn't have too much grading to do, so he went ahead and got it over with. Finally after 2 hours of grading papers; he stood up, stretched, yawned loudly and walked into his room.

He fell lightly backwards onto his bed, which was unmade, and groaned loudly.

All he had been thinking about for the past 2 days was Hermione, it was driving him mad.

_She is your student for christ sake Remus. Get ahold of yourself._

But he couldn't help it; he couldn't stop his mind from thinking how wonderful and beautiful and _smart_ she actually was. In Remus' opinion she was like a disease, not a destructive one, but a disease that when you catch it, it becomes infectious. It felt as though she was coursing throughout his veins, as though she was inside of him at this very moment.

Every time he tried to push her out of his mind, the thoughts of her would come back more forcefully than before. She was on his mind all of the time, she was all he ever thought about.

_I can't take this anymore, I just can't do this any longer._ he thought sternly.

He got up, walked to his door, opened it and in no time was walking swiftly through the corridors. Truth be told, he really had no idea where he was headed, but his legs seemed to have a mind of their own and knew where they were going.

As soon as he turned the corner into a different corridor he collided with something.

Hermione was knocked backwards off her feet. She fell to the ground and looked around to find the source of her collision, and soon found herself looking straight at Remus himself. She had just been thinking about him moments before; she was out taking a walk actually trying to rid him of her thoughts, but that didn't seem to work out as planned.

"Uff, oh…..I'm s-so sorry p-professor!" she stammered.

"Oh, my Hermione. Please, let me help you," Remus said, reaching out a hand and pulling her to her feet.

"Are you alright Hermione? You took quite a spill," he asked looking into her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just being clumsy, I'm sorry I didn't mean to run into you."

"Oh, but I think it was I that ran into _you_. I am very sorry, I hope you can forgive me."

"Well of course I forgive you professor." Hermione said quietly staring at the ground.

"Hermione, I've told you many times before, please call me Remus."

"Sorry," Hermione started.

"No need to apologize, and if you don't mind me asking, what were you doing out wondering the castle so late at night."

"I should ask you the same," Hermione said, feeling much braver now.

"Hermione, I am a teacher, I have the privilege and right to walk about the school at night. You, however, are a stu…."

"A student," Hermione interjected, "of course. This sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it Remus? You're my teacher and I'm your student. If you really need to know what I was doing, I was taking a little stroll trying to rid my thoughts of a certain someone who isn't worth my time."

Ooo, those words definitely caused a shock of pain to course through Remus' body.

Hermione was staring defiantly into his face and as soon as she said this she saw a hurt expression flash across his face. She felt victorious, like she had won a battle that she had been fighting within herself for the past 2 days. But in that instant, she felt as though she had played Remus in the worst way possible, it felt as though she were a victorious prat, she felt completely ashamed.

Remus looked down at the ground; he couldn't stand to have those beautiful honey-brown eyes staring at him like that. It felt as though her glare was penetrating through his own eyes, and he couldn't take it.

Hermione too had looked away from him. She couldn't look at his soft amber-blue eyes filled with so much pain and hurt. She felt disgusted with herself for the way she had just treated him, he didn't deserve it.

Yet she couldn't help but think about the way that he had treated her not even 24 hours ago. That thought went piercing through all her other reasonings.

_Well I didn't deserve to be treated that way either. I did absolutely nothing wrong, at least I don't think I did…_ Hermione's thoughts were clashing wildly in her head.

She couldn't handle this any longer, she had to do something to get this terrible feeling out of the pit of her stomach. She had to tell him, whether he wanted to hear it or not. She just had too…so she went with her gut feeling and finally came to her conclusion.

Remus felt as though something was crawling inside of him, something that was infectious and contagious. He knew that he had feelings for Hermione, he just wasn't sure what those feelings were exactly. He wasn't quite sure what they meant, but he did have an inceamingly attraction to her, and he knew that he only way to make himself get rid of this 'something' that was coursing throughout his body was to tell her everything; to tell her the truth.

But the thoughts in the back of his mind came floating up to the front. It just felt completely unjust for him to be having such feelings for Hermione, his student. He was old enough to be her father, a young father but a father none-the-less. He was her teacher her mentor, he was to tell her the difference between wrong and right; yet he couldn't even decide for himself whether or not these feelings that he had for her were wrong or right. It all just seemed mixed up and and jumbled; yet in his own mind Remus understood it completely, which is what confused him the most.

As Hermione went to open her mouth to say something, Remus had cut her off.

"Listen, Hermione, I don't want you to think that I don't care for you. It's just…that I…I…to be completely honest Hermione, I don't really know what I'm trying to say."

Hermione stared at him for several moments, a mixture of feelings brewing behind her eyes.

"Remus, no matter how much you want to deny it, I can't any longer so I'm just going to come right out and tell you because I'm tired of hiding my feelings…" Hermione drew in a deep breath.

"For the past 2 or 3 days I have had uncontrollable and undeniable feelings for you. Why?…I couldn't even answer that, I just know it's there and I can't ignore it. I knew that sooner or later I would have to come out and tell you, but I never would have guessed that this would have been the way that I would do it." she laughed quietly to herself, "All I can tell you Remus is that if you don't feel the same for me, or you don't want to pursue anything because you're afraid of what people would think, then I would much rather you tell me now so that I won't have to go on thinking that I was worthless."

"First off Hermione, I don't understand why you would ever even consider yourself worthless…you're not, you should know that, and if you don't then you now know. Secondly, no matter how it is for me to say this to you Hermione; I do have feelings for you and the only reason why I've been trying to ignore them was not because of fear of what people will _think_, it was because of the inappropriateness of a student-teacher relationship. What I fear is that my teaching career would be ruined, along with your achievements and scholarships that you've worked so hard for."

"But that doesn't matter as much to me as someone I love does." she stopped abruptly, staring at Remus wide-eyed with her mouth slightly open. She hadn't meant to say that she loved him, it just kind-of slipped out. She felt completely embarrassed for saying that out loud; feeling the heat start to creep up into her cheeks, she turned swiftly on her heel and started to walk away.

Everything was registering in Remus' mind in slow motion. _She had said something huge to him…no, something about him…but what was it…?_ Then it hit him like a hundred pound boulder, _she had said that she loved him;_ wow, this had come as a bit a shock to him. But then as those words were running over and over through his mind, it clicked…_love_. That's what it was that he couldn't describe…love. Everything seemed to be put back to normal speed again and he soon realized that she was no longer in front of him anymore.

"Hermione,…HERMIONE!" Remus shouted. Walking swiftly after her, but Hermione having a larger head start, was nowhere. Soon his walking turned into running; he ran to the portrait of the fat lady, with the intentions of going in to find Hermione, he stood there for several seconds debating.

_Damn,_ he thought bitterly, _if I walk in there looking for Hermione, it will seem too awkward._

_It's way too late for a teacher to be needing to talk to a student about their homework_. So Remus decided that he would try the library instead, you never know. That place seemed like it could be Hermione's second home, seeing as though she spent so much time there.

By the time he made it to the library, the doors were locked and it was pitch black in there. Remus finally decided that there was no way that she could be in there.

Remus thought frantically of anywhere else that she might have gone, but his mind was completely blank. So, feeling even more exhausted than he had felt before, he decided to head back to his room. He would try to get a good night's rest and talk to Hermione first thing tomorrow morning.

As Remus made his way back to his room, he dragged his feet behind him and hung his head, trying not to feel the already large amount of pain and anguish.

Then, out of nowhere, he heard a loud cackling noise, his head shot up and his eyes darted in the direction of the noise. It was Moaning Myrtle. She had a look of fear in her eyes, yet she was smiling and laughing loudly. She was right outside her legendary bathroom, saying something to herself; and as Remus crept up closer, he was able to make out what she was mumbling.

"Silly little girl actually thinks that she can do it that way? Well she's wrong, it will never work, she would have to hang there forever. And everyone says that she a know-it-all, yea right, if she knew everything she would know how to end it quickly."

Remus' heart stopped completely, he could hardly breath. _No, it couldn't be; she would never._ Myrtle giggled quietly to herself and floated away through the wall opposite the bathroom entrance.

Remus ran straight over to the bathroom and wrenched the door open with one swift movement. He dashed inside and looked around, searching frantically for her. He couldn't see her anywhere.

_No, no, no……god please no. Let her be okay, please._

He dropped down to the floor and looked along the ground to see if she was in one of the stalls.

Then Remus heard something and whipped around and saw Hermione standing with her back to him, facing a corner.

"Hermione…," Remus said slowly, walking towards her. She didn't say anything.

"Hermione?" he said a little more firmly.

This time Remus got a response; Hermione straightened up and turned around to face Remus slowly. When she turned all the way around, her eyes were blood-shoot, like she had been crying for hours and they looked…_vacant_, and her face was white as chalk. Then something else caught his eye, something had dropped from her hand. As he looked down at the ground, he recognized it to be her shoelaces strung together to make one long string and it was tied into a noose.

Remus swallowed hard and looked back up at Hermione's face, she just stared blankly back at him.

"Hermione," Remus started, his voice shaky and hoarse. "please, don't do this; I could never live with myself. I care for you more than you could ever imagine, and whether you want to believe me or not…I do love you."

A wave of relief washed over her face, she drew in a sharp breathe and threw her arms around Remus' neck. She buried her face in his neck and began crying; it was soothing to Remus, it felt as though her tears were his own kind of baptism, like they were washing away everything.

A.N. I promise that I won't take a month to update next time, I promise. Like I said before, I was extremely busy with all my testing and I was working on a lot of large projects! Again, please keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep updating!


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